How The Closeness Inventory works
The method is simple: stop treating closeness as only a mood, and start treating it as something two people can build in ordinary weeks.
Step 1 — Get a shared language
Partners learn the same three terms: Frequency, Diversity, and Strength. Shared language reduces blame and vague “we feel off” loops.
Step 2 — Look at ordinary life, not fantasy
The guide focuses on Tuesdays and logistics, not only vacations and peak romance. Thin ordinary weeks are the signal.
Step 3 — Run small experiments
- Protect real time (Frequency)
- Add one new shared lane (Diversity)
- Practice invited influence (Strength)
Step 4 — Use scripts and troubleshooting
When conversations freeze, the book provides stealable scripts and pattern-based troubleshooting so couples can stay on the same team.
Step 5 — Follow a longer arc
Optional 30-day and 90-day structures help habits stick without turning the relationship into a scoreboard.
- Input
- Two people who care and want better shared weeks
- Process
- F/D/S practices + scripts + weekly review
- Output
- Clearer interconnection and warmer ordinary life
- Non-output
- No guaranteed outcome; no clinical diagnosis